3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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