I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
