Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
