Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
