no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
