my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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