What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dear god my vagina.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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