he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
