I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
