Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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