ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
