make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
