im drinking this country out of the recession.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
