Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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