Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
