ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
