I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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