We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
