Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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