Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
