That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize