Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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