Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
