Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize