My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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