the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
