I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
