You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
