She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
