listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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