How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
