I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
