Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
