haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
