For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
