yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
