ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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