Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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