Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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