just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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