How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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