i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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