I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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