Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
