He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This is my gift to your gina
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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