Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
