woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
