need another drink. this is the easiest way
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
