he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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