Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
